I've never broken a bone in my life, so it's such a crazy thought that, in under a week’s time, I'm going to have a broken pelvis in three places and a broken femur. This is without doubt the scariest thing I've ever had to go through. At the same time, being free of this relentless hip pain will be the best gift I could ever wish for! It really is true that some things just have to get worse before they get better. This surgery is probably the only time you can say to someone, "Break a leg," in a figurative sense - and it will have a literal meaning too.
Since receiving the date for surgery, the days have been slowly dragging along, while the weeks have been speeding by! My condition is definitely deteriorating day by day and I’m slightly concerned that my right hip has now become arthritic - I sometimes seriously feel like a 24-year old stuck in the body of an 80-year-old! It’s scary to think what I would be going through if I still hadn’t been diagnosed with any of this.
The results of the EMG test came through last week, and I can now add ‘carpal tunnel syndrome’ to my long list of issues. Not the best timing when I’m going to be on crutches for a while; but at least I now know what’s up with my hands and wrists…
Lately I've been having a real hard time getting any decent sleep & I’m waking up several times each night; as well as having some really peculiar dreams and unwelcome nightmares! One dream in particular comes to mind regularly in which I was flying in the cockpit of a plane and Mr Witt (UCLH consultant) was the pilot: we needed to make an emergency landing and he ‘aced’ it! Others are much more random and frightening than that; involving train crashes, Nigel Farage and science museums… I have decided to put it all down to pre-op anxiety!
My pre-operative assessment was last Monday. Visiting a different hospital department in that is unfamiliar to me, brought reality to the fore. That distinct hospital smell; more nurses wandering around and hospital beds strewn in random places along corridors... I had my blood pressure and blood taken again and was asked a few questions about my overall health.
I was also asked to change in to a gown for an ECG (a test that assesses the function of the heart). When the nurse came back into the room she told me to pull the top half down to expose my chest, so she could connect the electrodes near my heart. I’m not sure why she left the room for me to change in the first place! It’s fair to say that lying there with my chest exposed to someone I’d only just met caused my dignity to come crashing down in one fell swoop, and the realisation that I’m probably not going to get it back for quite a while sank in as I quietly swallowed my pride. Thankfully I was deemed fit for surgery.
I was told about the blood-thinning injections I’ll have to have in my stomach that apparently cause lots of bruising, and the stockings I’ll have to wear for about 6 weeks, but in the scheme of things that’s nothing to worry about. I also realised the other day that I’m not going to be able to pick up George (my lovely little cat) for a while and I’m pretty sad about that! I’m not looking forward to being away from him for a week or so either, but I know his healing purrs will be waiting for me when I get back from hospital.
Typically I'm a very last minute Christmas shopper, but this year I felt I’ve had to be a lot more organised as I’m still going to be very dependent on people when the 25th comes around. It feels quite odd to be all wrapped and prepared in November, but I’m sure there are plenty of things I’ve forgotten about!
When all of this hip ‘stuff’ is over, it's my dream to get back in the saddle and just gallop for miles on some majestic beach - the wind in my hair, without a care in the world. In a realistic world, it will also be amazing just to be able to sit comfortably in a restaurant, a cinema, or anywhere else for that matter! I hope to write some updates of my time in hospital next week, but as I’ll be heavily ‘out of it’ for most of my stay, I’m not sure how that will go down just yet…
See you on the other side!
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