The twelfth week into my recovery saw me unwillingly reaching a quarter of a century and turning 25. I was incredibly happy to have my parents come down for the weekend to spend it with me; although unable to do much, it was so lovely to have their company; eating carrot cake, drinking tea and watching films. It really lifted my spirits and I was spoiled with presents and love.
Unfortunately, during the same week, I met with the extremely sharp lateral thigh pain that I'd previously had a few weeks before and it prevented me from weight bearing properly. I let Alison know at hydro and, thinking it was a tight ITB, she mentioned sending me for a soft tissue massage; however, when she checked it at the end of the session she found it wasn't anywhere near as tight as it had been and we came to the sad conclusion that the pain I'm getting there is plate irritation. Although I'd already assumed it, due to the way it felt and it being in a specific spot, it wasn't great to hear. She changed her mind about the massage as she considered it would only cause more aggravation than anything else. I'm really hoping that this plate isn't going to be greatly problematic throughout my recovery, but I do have a feeling it's going to continue to be an issue - because of the way it viciously rubs against the muscle that's lying over the top.
The following week I had an x-ray appointment. This was to be the first time I would be venturing out alone. Having not yet mastered the technique of actually getting into the taxi by myself with a pair of crutches and a backpack in tow, I managed to drop my phone as I was closing the car door and smashed the screen! The feelings of liberation and accomplishment for getting out and about by myself speedily changed to feeling rather foolish and reckless causing nearly £100 worth of damage - just trying to get into the back of a car...
On arrival at the radiology department I let them know I couldn't sit for long and fortunately I was called straight through without having to wait! Amazing! As well as the typical x-ray view, they also wanted to get the osteotomies from lateral view this time. When all was done, I asked the radiologist if I was allowed to have a look, as I was desperate to know if my femur was healing and she let me to go into the 'booth' to have a peak. I was very excited to see some fluffy, spongy bone growth on the usual view compared to my last x-ray, but was also quite confused to see a huge gap on the lateral showing no visible growth.
The following day I had what I think was my last hydrotherapy session. As well as the usual step-ups, one leg dips and float work, Alison also had me cycling my legs with a pair of flippers. It looked like it could have been fun, and I'm sure it would've been if I didn't have the aggressive groin pain screaming at me the whole time. At the end of the session I was told to book a review appointment to look at sending me over to the gym for land based PT. She mentioned putting me into one-to-one sessions as opposed to the group ones, I was grateful for that as it’s fair to say I’m quite a complicated patient with everything I have going on.
A couple of weeks ago I had my second check up with Mr Politis - once again I was lucky enough to be taken straight through without having to sit in the waiting area. He seemed fairly pleased with the progression and said that my pelvis is healing ahead of his expectations, but my femur still has a long way to go. As I had seen the previous week, the straight-on x-ray shows some slight bone growth, but on the lateral view there's still a noticeable gap. Femurs are certainly slow healers, but I'm holding onto the positivity that there is at least a smidgen of bone growing and he's not classing it as a non-union. He wants to see me in another 6 weeks time and said if it is still not looking great, I will be given an ultrasound bone stimulator to wear. He told me to take it easy, refrain from any vigorous rotation, and to stay on the crutches to support the femur for the time being (not that I'd be off them anyway due to the pain, muscle weakness and significant limp I have going on). I asked if it was normal for me to still be reliant on the crutches at this stage and he assured me it was very normal.
When I mentioned the plate irritation he said it's inevitable because of the muscle rubbing over it – I’m somewhat disappointed about that as this chunky plate is going to be a part of me for at least another six months. I broached the issue of the awful groin pain and the labrum, and his response was that it's still too early to know which is scar/soft tissue pain and which pain is coming from the labral tear. I also mentioned the bony protrusion I now have at the front of my hip that bothers me when I lie on my front or accidentally bump into furniture, and he spoke about possibly moving the soft tissues around when they go back in there to remove the screws. I wish I'd asked more about that as it has left me wondering since just what exactly he meant.
My knee is still incredibly painful, so I questioned that again; the reality is that until I'm walking properly and at full strength it's difficult to tell if it's going to be a problem. I certainly see a bit of valgus knee going on when I look at my leg, and can't deny that I do worry about needing yet another osteotomy on my right side, but I've got to just take everything one day at a time and focus on this recovery. He reminded me that the recovery of these surgeries can exceed a year and that I'm still in the early stages of mine...
I’d also noticed an unusual looking bit of bone on my x-ray (fifth screw down) so I asked him about it whilst I was there. Surprisingly, he told me that it’s where a screw had broken during the procedure, which I found an amusing little fact.
Last weekend was pretty exciting as I managed to bake some blueberry muffins! As much as it pains me to stand in the kitchen for any decent amount of time, it was a great accomplishment as I really miss cooking and baking. Sadly, the week following that feat was especially tough as I was unable to weight-bear properly - again. This time it was because of an immensely sharp stabbing pain in my groin. Each time I put over 50% of my weight through my leg, or tried to lift it whilst lying down on my front, it seemed to severely set-off the pain, which in turn made me really apprehensive about using my leg, as it was such an unbearable shock of pain that made me screech out loud when it caught me off guard. The only way I can think to describe it is being comparable to the dentist drilling through a nerve in your tooth, but on a greater scale! Having it for nearly a whole week made me feel like I'd done some pretty serious damage and I was constantly trying to figure out what it was. My guesses ranged from a ligament or tendon issue, to compression of the femoral nerve - as it sometimes followed the line of that nerve down into my inner knee. I became really anxious that it was a disc in my back causing it, as my back has been particularly bad these past few weeks and I’m always getting nerve pains down my legs due to the discs that are ‘out’. I really felt as though I was regressing, but I rested, iced and kept off my PT exercises for a few days - and luckily it seemed to slowly settle down.
A few days ago I had my physio review with Alison. I let her know about the awful week I’d had with not being able to put any weight through my leg and she speculated, by the way I described it, that it sounded like I’d strained a muscle. She did say there could be a bit of localised femoral nerve compression going on too, but that it didn’t sound like my back, which I was so relieved to hear. She was surprised I didn’t do anything in particular to trigger it, but told me to take it easy if anything like that occurs again.
She was impressed with how my muscle strength has progressed since my last review, which I was really happy to hear. When you’re living with this every day, it’s very easy to be blind to developments, so it’s delightful for someone else to give me that reminder that I am moving forward - no matter how slowly. However, because my femur isn’t healed yet and I’m still on reliant on crutches, she can’t send me to land based physio yet. “You’re too good for the pool, but not quite good enough for the gym…” So I’m stuck in limbo at the moment and have to wait until I’ve seen Mr Politis again in mid-April to see how my femur is healing before I can have another physio review.
For the time being I just have to continue with my home PT exercises and stretches. I mentioned finding the clamshells a bit problematic for the hip flexors and she told me I could give them a break for now, but to continue with everything else. I queried the vast amount of swelling still developing in my leg and she said it is to be expected, especially due to still having a broken bone and EDS. I still have to work on my external rotation, as it continues to be very stiff within the joint in that direction - I have been trying to stretch it, but it really does create a very sharp pain in my groin every time I do it. I mentioned the ghastly, burning groin pain that has not diminished and she told me to keep in mind that I still have a labral tear, which to be honest, seems to be in contrast to what my surgeon says. I did say that it feels like Mr Politis is quite dismissive of the labral tear, but she said at the moment his priority will be to focus on the osteotomies healing.
Over the last few weeks I’ve definitely been able to see and feel the effects that the general anaesthetic and major surgery has had on my body (and they typically say that 3-4 months out is when it all tends to happen). My hair is falling out, my nails are in an appalling, brittle state; my skin is quite bad and my mood has been fairly low. My eyesight has also worsened since surgery and isn’t yet showing any signs of improvement. I did ask Mr Politis about that and he said that, although he is no expert, he’s never heard of eyesight being affected by surgery, so I’m unsure what’s going on there.
I have to say - at this point in recovery - I'm feeling very frustrated and a little downbeat. Everyone says that this is the slow and frustrating stage and they couldn’t be more right. It feels as though it's been a very long time since the surgery, but in reality this is really only the beginning of it all and I still have so far to go - and that's just with my right side. I'm tired of not being able to just get up and freely walk across the room; fed up with my crutches falling over everywhere I rest them; exasperated by not being able to just go out to do the shopping, and especially devastated that I still can't sit down without major pain. The prospect of living with significant pain for a while longer, or until the labrum and impingement are addressed is extremely daunting, especially as I'd hoped that the majority of this sharp, burning groin pain would be gone by now. I do know that a lot of it is likely to be hip flexor pain as well as torn labrum and FAI issues, (and like Alison has told me - it’s near to impossible to distinguish between the two) but because it feels identical to what I was experiencing pre-op, I just have a feeling it’s going to continue to be a problem until they're addressed.
I think I had anticipated that by the 3/4 month mark I'd be further ahead than I am. If nothing else, this has certainly taught me that you can't actually make assumptions for a recovery like this, as it will typically never go the way you thought, and that just makes the situation more difficult. It is challenging, trying to remain focused and remember how far I've come, instead of fearing the road ahead, although I know how important it is to stay positive and celebrate the small achievements. It is rather difficult to ever imagine having a ‘normal’, pain free life. I thought I’d ‘maxed-out’ on patience already, but it seems I’m going to have to dig a little deeper to find some more.
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